我们的英文短剧——三打白骨精 2009-8-3
Three Times’ Beating Monster人物：T：唐僧 S：孙悟空 E：猪八戒 J：沙僧B：白骨精 B1：B变成的村姑 B2：B变成的太婆B3：B变化成的老头 N：哪吒唐僧: Emitofo,do you know where we are now?
喃庅阿尼陀佛，你们知道我们现在身在何处吗？S: Bajie,map!
八戒，地图E: (摸出，递给S)S: Look,master (凑近T)………（T、S一齐转向E）
看！师傅唐僧: Bajie!How Many times I have told you, not to bring these pictures of beautiful girls with you!
八戒，为师告诉你多少次了？不要带着些印着漂亮萝莉的照片在身上！！E: Oh,master!Forgive me(伸手拿回)
噢~师傅！原谅我唐僧: (缩手)I’ll keep it for you until we reach the west
我帮你保存住直到我们取完西经E: But……
但是~唐僧: Emitofo,nothing is lust,lust is nothing! Map?
南无阿尼陀佛，色即是空，空即是色，多情自古空余恨！
地图！E: (递)Here.Em…… we have arrived in White Tiger Mountain!Ah I can’t walk on any more!(坐)My stomach doesn’t allow So.
哪，这里，地图……我们已经来到白虎山了！（汗）
啊~，我走不动啦哇，我空空的肚子让我走不动啦S: Fat Pig!
死肥猪！E: Monkey,if you dare to say these two words once again,I will ,I will……….
死马骝，如果你敢再把这三个字再讲一次，我会…，我会……！S: You will what(凶相)?
你会点？E: (软弱下来)I will help you catch fleas(跳蚤).
我就帮你捉跳蚤咯S: Hm!
哼唐僧:（轻咳）Wukong,in fact, I am alittle bit hungry Could you go to get me some food?
悟空，实际上呢，我都有一点饿了，你可不可以去帮我找一些食物回来呢？E: You see ,master is hungry,too!
你看，你看！师傅都饿啦唐僧: Baijie!Don’t forget who ate my last meal!
八戒！不要忘了是谁吃了哥最后那顿饭了！J: But master,if a monster comes while brother monkey is away…..
（岔开话题）但是师傅，如果猴哥不在的时候那些妖精来了怎么办啊？唐僧: Em…….It is a problem.Wukong,do you have any idea?
嗯……这个是个问题喔，悟空，你有什么好主意啊？S: No problem!(安装)（B已躲在一旁偷看）
没问题！B:whats that?
那是什么？E: This is…..?
这是？S: Electric net!I have learnt the energy of electricity from master’s books. So I made this. No monster can approach you if you stay in it!
高压电电网！我已经从师傅的武功秘籍上学会了怎么使用电能魔法了，所以我就制作了这个电网，现在如果你在里面就没有什么妖怪能接近你了唐僧: Em……Wukong, you are becoming more and more scientific! Emitofo, knowledge is power!
嗯……不错不错，悟空，你现在变得越来越爱科学了，南无阿尼陀佛，你看了《蓝猫淘气三千问》了吧，知识就是力量！S: Bye!(走)
86唐僧: Let’s play cards!(三人开始打牌)音乐《斗地主》
开铺了开铺了~B: Hm!Hm!Electric net?You are too childish.(变成B1)
呵呵呵！电网！又不是绿呗娘，你们太小儿科了。B1: (接近三人，望着)Can I join you?
我能加入你们吗？唐僧: I’m sorry,lady. We are playing Fighting Against Landlord and three people are enough.我很酥睿，美女，我们正在玩斗地主，三个人就够了。B1: (在一旁观看)Oh,Chance! Bomb!
噢，机会！炸弹！唐僧: Bomb?(打出)
炸弹？B1: Double King!
对王！唐僧: Oh….I win! Em……,Lady,you are a master-hand. Come in and teach me!(准备开电网门)
哦……我赢了！嗯~靓女，你是个好助手哦，进来，进来，来教我怎么打S: (回来，看见B1)Oh,monster!(上前就打)
噢，妖孽！看棍。B1: （倒)Ah……
啊~唐僧 : (气愤)Wukong! Look what you havedone! She is my teacher!
悟空，看你都做了些什么，她是我的师父，你的师祖啊！S: She is a monster!
她是一个妖精！唐僧 : Nonsense!(深呼吸)
无礼！我要念紧箍咒了。S: Oh,please don’t……
哦，师傅，请不要这样……J:Oh,master,please forgive brother monkey this time.
噢，师傅，请原谅猴哥这一次啦唐僧 :It’s too late!(唱)Once more……you open the door…(泰坦尼克主题曲，走音离谱)
太迟了，“only you，can take me 取 西 经……”S: Please,Please,oh,no……(痛苦抱头)
请…，请不要这样……，噢，雅蠛蝶……唐僧 : (呛住，咳)Wukong,I’m disappointed with you!
悟空，我对你太失望啦B: (真身出现)Hm!Sun Wukong, I’ll teach you a lesson!(变成太婆)
哼！卡卡罗特，让我教会你一课！B2:Hello,have you seen my daughter?
哈喽，你们有没有看到我女儿啊？唐僧 : Daughter?...(连忙挡住地尸体)No,sorry!(陪笑，B2想看后面是什么，T挡)
你女儿……没有，没有，对不起了B2:What’s ……
这是……！S: （咬牙切齿）You monster, I’ll beat you into 18th floor of hell!
你这个死妖精，看我把你打进十八层地狱。
(S追打B2,B2躲至T身后，S打，不想打到T头，T晕，S再打死B2)
E:Oh,master have died,I shuold go back to GaoLaoZhuang.
\(^o^)/哦也，你打死师傅啦，师傅驾鹤西去啦，我可以回去高老庄啦J:shut up!Fool pig!..... Are you Ok, master?(扶T)
住嘴，你个死蠢猪！……师傅，你没事吧唐僧 : Look,(伸食指)how many?
看！悟空，这里有多少个手指？唐僧 :Two…..(晕乎乎地)Sun Wukong, game over!(变成B3)
两个啊……孙悟空，游戏结束了！B3: (看到B1,B2尸体)Oh….,my daughter, my wife! Who did it?!!(哭喊)
噢……我的女儿，我的老妻啊，谁做的？
S: I’ll kill you, monster!(打)
我要杀了你，看棍，妖孽，啊哈~唐僧 : （想阻止，未及）You,you.....(险些晕，E,J扶住 )You have killed three lives!
你，你……你已经结束了三条活生生的生命啊！S: No,they are not human beings!They are created by monster!
不，师傅，他们都不是人类，他们是妖怪变的！唐僧 : Monster?You are a real monster!Never let me see you,go!!
妖怪？我看你才是一个真正的孽猴吧!不要让我再看到你，滚！！J:Brother monkey,beg master forgive you,quickly.
猴哥，快求师傅原谅你。（老沙人老实，台词就是少）唐僧 :No!No!I will never forgive him,never!
不，不！我永远也不会原谅他，永远！S: (悲，离去)（音乐，营造 “假”悲伤气氛）《人鬼情未了》E: Master, brother Monkey is.......
师傅，猴哥是……唐僧 : Scratch! Don't mention that guy any more!
住嘴！不要再提那个孽猴了！B: (出现) Ha,ha,ha!(三尸体B1,B2,B3在B招手后“飘”走)
哈哈哈！唐僧 : （惊）You are......
你边个？B: How foolish you are ,Mr Tang!(E,J去阻斗，被击退)
呵呵，你多傻啊！憨豆唐！B: (抓住T)I'll enjoy your meat and blood,ha,ha......
待我好好好好享受你的血肉……S: (悄悄走到B后，打B,B晕)A thousand years later.
一千年以后吧。唐僧 : Wukong?
卡卡罗特？不，悟空？E: Oh,Brother Monkey!
噢耶，是猴哥喔！J: Our hero is back!
我们的英雄归来了耶（老沙一共才五句台词）唐僧 : I,I can't understand......What happened?
我接受唔度咯……发生什么事？S: Master,your IQ needs increasing! This monster changed its appearance into three shapes in order to cheat you!
师傅，你应该去买些智力加成的装备了，这个妖怪变成三种形态为了来骗你!唐僧 : How,how did you find out?
你，你是怎么发现这一切的？S: (沉默).......Monkey's intuition(直觉)
超级赛亚人的直觉，它的战斗力超过八戒与老沙的总和。
唐僧 : Wukong(S不理T)I admit my mistake this time(S仍不理)I'm sorry(小声)
小空空！原谅为师这次的错误啦，我感到很酥睿咯S: What?
什么？唐僧 : I'm sorry.
I’m酥睿。S: Em? Louder,please?
嗯？再大声点，请~，我听不清。T: I......am......sorry.....(S 捂耳)（音乐响）《敢问路在何方》（这个放伴奏） I……am……酥睿……
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