优秀作文评析（一）—记叙文

优秀作文评析（一）——记叙文 1

【习作要求】

　　根据中文意思和英文提示词语，写出意思连贯，符合逻辑的英文文段。所给英文提示词语必须都用上；每组英文提示所写的句数不限。

　　彼得只有五岁，和他的祖母住在一起。一天他的祖母得了重感冒，彼得急得直哭，后来他……

　　(1) Peter, five　

　　(2) live, grandma

　　(3) have, cold, worried, cry

　　(4) idea, find, parents' telephone number, call

　　(5) news, hurry, home, hospital

　　【参考范文】

　　Peter is only five (years old). He lives with his grandma. One day his grandma had a cold. Peter was so worried that he began to cry. Then he had an idea. He found his parents' telephone number and gave them a call. When his parents heard the news, they hurried back home and took Peter's grandma to the hospital.

　　【名师点评】

　　根据中英文提示可理清需要进行表达的大致情节是：彼得只有五岁，他和他的祖母住在一起，一天他的祖母得了重感冒，他急得直哭。后来有了一个主意，他找到了他父母的电话号码，他打电话给了他们，当他的父母得知这一消息后迅速地赶回家，把祖母送进医院。须注意前面介绍的是一般情况用一般现在时，后面叙述的是过去发生的事用一般过去时。动词的运用及动词的时态是在进行书面表达时尤其要注意的。

优秀作文评析（一）——记叙文 2

【习作要求】

　　请根据下面所给李玲的个人小档案，以My good friend为题，写一篇英语短文，介绍李玲的基本情况。要求条理清楚，语句通顺，体现表中的全部内容，不得少于12句话。

　　【参考范文】

My Good Friend

　　I have a good friend. Her Chinese name is Li Ling, and Susan is her English name. She is from Qinghai. Li Ling is fifteen years old. She studies in No. 8 Middle School. She is in Class Two, Grade Three. Li Ling is good at maths and English. She likes singing and playing volleyball very much. And she sings quite well. She likes watching TV, too. Li Ling is very kind and friendly. She studies very hard and always likes helping others. What a good girl she is! I like her!

　　【名师点评】

　　这是一篇记叙文，内容要交待清楚、全面，要注意中英文的表达习惯，如汉语中年级在前，班级在后，而英语正相反；首尾句要格外留意，要保持短文的完整性。

　　(1) 格式：人物介绍

　　(2) 人称：第三人称

　　(3) 时态：一般现在时　　

　　(4) 短语：have a good friend, English name, to be from, No. 8 Middle School, in Class Two, Grade Three, to be good at, like singing and playing, sing well, like watching TV, study hard, what a good girl

　　(5) 句型：陈述句与感叹句

优秀作文评析（一）——记叙文3

【习作要求】

　　根据中文意思和英文提示词语，写出意思连贯、符合逻辑的英文文段。所给的英文提示词语必须都用上，句数不限；中文提示内容不必逐句翻译。

　　一个雨天，李莉乘出租车回家。在车里她发现司机在学英语。他对李莉说了些什么? 此事对你学习英语有何启发? 为支持北京奥运你打算做些什么?

　　(1) one rainy day, go home, by taxi

　　(2) in the car, find, was learning English

　　(3) said to Li Li, I, weak, English, when at school, now work hard, to help with the Beijing 2008 Olympic Games

　　(4) I think... to show support （n.支持）for the Beijing 2008 Olympic Games

　　【参考范文】

　　One rainy day, Li Li went home by taxi. In the car she found (that) the driver was learning English. He said to Li Li: "I was weak in English when I was at school. Now I'm working hard at it to help with the Beijing 2008 Olympic Games." I think I should learn from the driver. English is very important to us because it is widely used all over the world. As a student, I'll do my best to learn English well at school. And I'm going to speak English as much as possible to show support for the Beijing 2008 Olympic Games.

　　【名师点评】

　　第一句很重要，以便确定全文时态。句与句之间要连贯。关键句要用上，如：I'm going to speak English as much as possible to show support for the Beijing 2008 Olympic Games.

　　(1) 格式：简介

　　(2) 人称：第三人称

　　(3) 时态：一般现在时，一般过去时，一般将来时

　　(4) 短语、句式、句型：短语与句式已给出，句型包括简单句、直接引语、宾语从句

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