Unit 9 Mr. Preble gets rid of his wife

詹姆斯·瑟伯-泉水叮咚

詹姆斯·瑟伯作品四种：泉水叮咚

(纽约客, 写作关注点，漫画)

知道詹姆斯·瑟伯的中国读者应该不多。但如果是对E.B.怀特有点兴趣的人，应该听说过他。因为在一定程度上来说，他俩“孟不离焦，焦不离孟”，都是《纽约客》杂志的王牌作者，共同创立了《纽约客》杂志诙谐、辛辣的文风，保持了一生的友谊。詹姆斯·瑟伯是泉水叮咚。瑟伯则关注个人的行为与心性，人与人的关系，特别是两性的关系多一些。除了写作，瑟伯的简笔漫画，也曾“倾倒众生”，为别人的书作画，为自己的书作画，为《纽约客》作画，甚至出了漫画专集。 以下这幅为怀特作的漫画，寥寥几笔，就把怀特清醒不凡、昂然独立的性格勾了出来。

詹姆斯•瑟伯作品的中译版，零星出过一些单行本，近年重庆大学出版社出了一套他的选集，应是目前最好的瑟伯作品中文版了，也是引起我写本文的一套书，设计有格调，装帧有考究，有瑟伯之风。计有：

随笔集

'The Case for the Daydreamer'（《白日做梦有理》）

漫画集

'The Seal in the Bedroom'（《卧室里的海豹》）

童话寓言集

'The 13 Clocks '（《13只钟》）

'The Last Flower'（《最后一朵花》）

——————

普雷布尔先生灭妻记

Mr. Preble Gets Rid of His Wife

--James Thurber

孙仲旭 译

1. 普雷布尔先生是斯卡斯戴尔市的一位中年律师，身材肥胖，经常跟他的速记员开玩笑说要跟她私奔。“我们私奔吧。”他在口授什么的间隙会说。“好的呀。”她会说。

Mr. Preble was a plump middle-aged lawyer in Scarsdale. He used to kid with his stenographer [stə'nɒɡrəfə] about running away with him. “Let’s run away together,” he would say, during a pause in dictation. “All right,” she would say.

2. 一个下雨的星期一下午，普雷布尔先生比以往更认真。

3.“我们私奔吧。”普雷布尔先生说。

4.“好的呀。”他的速记员说。普雷布尔先生把口袋里的钥匙弄得哗哗响，望着窗外。

5.“我老婆巴不得没了我呢。”

6.“她肯跟你离婚吗？”速记员问。

7.“我想不会。”他说。速记员哈哈大笑。

8.“你得解决掉你的妻子。”她说。

One rainy Monday afternoon, Mr. Preble was more serious about than usual.

“Let’s run away together,” said Mr. Preble.

“All right,” said his stenographer. Mr. Preble jingled the keys in his pocket and looked out the window.

“My wife would be glad to get rid of me,” he said

“Would she give you a divorce?” asked the stenographer.

.”I don’t suppose so,” he said. The stenographer laughed.

“You’d have to get rid of your wife,” she said.

9.那天晚上吃晚饭时，普雷布尔先生沉默得不同寻常。喝完咖啡后过了半个钟头左右，他仍然看着报纸，眼睛没抬就开口了。

10.“我们去地下室吧。”普雷布尔先生对妻子说。

11.“干吗？”她看着书，眼睛也没抬地说。

12.“哦，我说不好。”他说，“我们没再去过地下室了，就像我们以前那样。”

Mr. Preble was unusually silent at dinner that night. About half an hour after coffer, he spoke without looking up from his paper.

“Lets’ go down in the cellar,” Mr. Preble said to his wife.

“What for?” she said, not looking up from her book.

“Oh, I don’t know,” he said. “We never go down in the cellar any more. The way we used to.”

13. “我记得我们从来没有一起下过地下室。”普雷布尔太太说，“就算我从来没下过地下室，我这后半辈子还能过得心安理得。”普雷布尔先生有几分钟没说话。

14. “如果我要说的这件事对我意义重大呢。”普雷布尔先生说。

15. “你什么毛病？”他妻子问，“那里面冷，而且绝对是无事可做。”

16. “我们可以捡煤块，”普雷布尔先生说，“也许可以用煤块玩什么游戏。”

“We never did go down in the cellar that I remember,” said Mrs. Preble. “I could rest easy the balance of my life if I never went down in the cellar.” Mr. Preble was silent for several minutes.

“Supposing I said it meant a whole lot to me,” began Mr. Preble.

“What's come over you?” His wife demanded. “It's cold down there and there is absolutely nothing to do.”

“We could pick up pieces of coal,” said Mr. Preble. “We might get up some kind of a game with pieces of coal.”

17. “我不想去，”普雷布尔太太说，“反正我在看书。”

18. “哎，”普雷布尔先生说着站起身走来走去，“你干吗不去地下室？看书嘛，你也可以在那里看。”

19. “下面光线不好。”她说，“不管怎么样，我是不会去的，这件事你最好想好了。”

“I don't want to,” said his wife. “Anyway, I'm reading.”

“Listen,” said Mr. Preble, rising and walking up and down. “Why won't you come down in the cellar? You can read down there, as far as that goes (就目前情况而言).”

“There isn't a good enough light down there,” she said, “and anyway, I'm not going to go down in the cellar. You may as well make up your mind to that.”

20. “天哪！”普雷布尔先生踢着地毯的一角说，“别人的妻子都会下地下室，你干吗从来什么都不想做？我下班后回到家里筋疲力尽，你却连跟我一起去地下室都不肯。上帝知道，又不是很远——又不是好像我请你去看电影还是去哪里。”

21. “我不想去！”普雷布尔太太叫着说。普雷布尔先生坐到一张长沙发的边上。

22. “好吧，好吧。”他说，然后又拿起报纸。“我希望你能让我给你多讲一点。这件事——可以说让你想不到吧。”

“Gee whiz!” Said Mr. Preble, kicking at the edge of a rug. “Other people's wives go down in the cellar. Why is it you never want to do anything? I come home worn out from the office and you won't even go down in the cellar with me. God knows it isn't very far—it isn't as if I was asking you to go to the movies or some place.”

“I don't want to go!” Shouted Mrs. Preble. Mr. Preble sat down on the edge of a davenport.

“All right, all right,” he said. He picked up the newspaper again. “I wish you'd let me tell you more about it. It's—kind of a surprise.”

23. “这件事，你别再叽叽歪歪了好不好？”普雷布尔太太说。

24. “听着，”普雷布尔先生一下子站起来说，“我干脆不兜圈子，跟你实话实说吧。我想把你解决掉，好让我跟我的速记员结婚。那有什么很出格的吗？人们每天都在那样做。你没办法控制爱情——”

25. “我们都谈过那些了，”普雷布尔太太说，“我不准备再来一遍。”

“Will you quit harping on that subject?” asked Mrs. Preble.

“Listen,” said Mr. Preble, leaping to his feet. “I might as well tell you the truth instead of beating around the bush. I want to get rid of you so I can marry my stenographer. Is there anything especially wrong about that? People do it every day. Love is something you can't control—”

“We've been all over that,” said Mrs. Preble. “I'm not going to go all over that again.”

26. “我只是想让你知道是什么状况。”普雷布尔先生说，“可是你非把什么都这么照字面意义来理解。天哪，你以为我真的想去地下室用煤块玩什么愚蠢的游戏吗？”

27. “我从来一分钟都不相信。”普雷布尔太太说，“我一直知道你想把我弄下去埋了我。”

28. “现在你倒是会说了——在我告诉你之后。”普雷布尔先生说，“但是如果我没有告诉你，你永远都想不到。”

“I just wanted you to know how things are,” said Mr. Preble. “But you have to take everything so literally. Good Lord, do you suppose I really wanted to go down in the cellar and make up some silly game with pieces of coal?”

“I never believed that for a minute,” said Mrs. Preble. “I knew all along you wanted to get me down there and bury me.”

“You can say that now—after I told you,” said Mr. Preble. “But it would never have occurred to you if I hadn't.”

29. “不是你告诉我，是我从你嘴里掏出来的。”普雷布尔太太说，“不管怎么样，你想什么，我总是比你快两步。”

30. “我想什么，你从来离知道差着不止一英里呢。”普雷布尔先生说。

31. “是吗？我知道你今天晚上一进屋就想把我埋了。”普雷布尔太太对他怒目而视。

“You didn't tell me; I got it out of you,” said Mrs. Preble. “Anyway, I'm always two steps ahead of what you're thinking.”

“You're never within a mile of what I'm thinking,” said Mr. Preble.

“Is that so? I knew you wanted to bury me the minute you set foot in this house tonight.” Mrs. Preble held him with a glare.

32. “那可完全是他妈夸张。”普雷布尔先生很恼火地说，“这件事你根本什么都不知道。事实上，本来我从来根本没想过这件事，直到几分钟前。”

33. “那是在你的内心深处。”普雷布尔太太说，“我想是那位整理档案的女士给你出的主意吧？”

34. “你不用说话带刺。”普里布尔先生说，“我有很多人整理档案，用不着她去。她对这件事情一无所知，没有参与。我本来想告诉她你去看几个朋友，掉下了悬崖。她想让我离婚。”

“Now that's just plain damn exaggeration,” said Mr. Preble, considerably annoyed. “You knew nothing of the sort. As a matter of fact, I never thought of it till just a few minutes ago.”

“It was in the back of your mind,” said Mrs. Preble. “I suppose this filing ['faɪlɪŋ] woman put you up to it.”

“You needn't get sarcastic,” said Mr. Preble. “I have plenty of people to file without having her file. She doesn't know anything about this. She isn't in on it. I was going to tell her you had gone to visit some friends and fell over a cliff. She wants me to get a divorce.”

35. “真好笑。”普里布尔太太说，“真是好笑。你倒是可以把我埋掉，但是你永远也别想离婚。”

36. “她知道！我跟她说了。”普里布尔先生说，“我是说——我跟她说我永远也离不了婚。”

37. “哦，你很可能也跟她说要埋掉我。”普里布尔太太说。

38. “没有。”普里布尔先生不失尊严地说。“那是你我之间的事，我谁都不会告诉。”

“That's a laugh,” said Mrs. Preble. “That's a laugh. You may bury me, but you'll never get a divorce.”

“She knows that; I told her that,” said Mr. Preble. “I mean—I told her I'd never get a divorce.”

“Oh, you probably told her about burying me, too,” said Mrs. Preble.

“That's not true,” said Mr. Preble, with dignity. “That's between you and me. I was never going to tell a soul.”

39. “你嚷嚷得让全世界都知道，别告诉我，”普里布尔太太说，“我了解你。”普里布尔先生抽着雪茄。

40. “我希望你现在已经给埋掉了，这件事就完全结束了。”普里布尔先生说。

41. “你难道没想过你会被抓到，你这个疯子？”她说，“这种人总是会被抓到的。你干吗不睡觉？你只是没事找事兴奋起来了。“

“You'd blab it to the whole world; don't tell me,” said Mrs. Preble. “I know you.” Mr. Preble puffed at his cigar.

“I wish you were buried now and it was all over with,” he said.

“Don't you suppose you would get caught, you crazy thing?” She said. “They always get caught. Why don't you go to bed? You're just getting yourself all worked up over nothing.”

42. “我不睡觉，”普里布尔先生说，“我要把你埋在地下室里，我已经下了决心。我不知道怎样能给你解释得更清楚。”

43. “听着，”普里布尔太太说着把书放下。“如果我去地下室，会不会让你满意了，闭上嘴巴？如果我去地下室，你能不能让我清静一下？去了你就别再烦我好不好？”

44. “好吧。”普里布尔先生说，“可是你这种态度，就破坏了效果。”

“I'm not going to bed,” said Mr. Preble. “I'm going to bury you in the cellar. I've got my mind made up to it. I don't know how I could make it any plainer.”

“Listen,” cried Mrs. Preble, throwing her book down, “will you be satisfied and shut up if I go down in the cellar? Can I have a little peace if I go down in the cellar? Will you let me alone then?”

“Yes,” said Mr. Preble. “But you spoil it by taking that attitude.”

45. “当然，当然，我总是把什么都破坏了。这一章我看一半就放下了，我再也不会知道故事的结尾怎么样——可是这对你来说根本没什么。”

46. “是我让你开始看那本书的吗？”普雷布尔先生问。他打开地下室门。“过来，你先下去。”

47. “嘶，”普雷布尔太太走下台阶时说，“下边冷！一年里的这种时候，你早该想到这一点！别的当丈夫的，都会在夏天时埋妻子。”

“Sure, sure, I always spoil everything. I stop reading right in the middle of a chapter. I'll never know how the story comes out—but that's nothing to you.”

“Did I make you start reading the book?” asked Mr. Preble. He opened the cellar door. “Here, you go first.”

“Brrr,” said Mrs. Preble, starting down the steps. “It's cold down here! You would think of this, at this time of year! Any other husband would have buried his wife in the summer.”

48. “这种事情，你不能什么时候想做就可以安排得面面俱到。”普雷布尔先生说，“我是直到秋天快过完时，才爱上这个女孩的。”

“You can't arrange those things just whenever you want to,” said Mr. Preble. “I didn't fall in love with this girl till late fall.”

49. “谁都会比你早很多就爱上她。她在那里几年了，你干吗老是让别的男的抢到你前面？要命，这里面脏！你拿的是什么？”

“Anybody else would have fallen in love with her long before that. She's been around for years. Why is it you always let other men get in ahead of you? Mercy, but it's dirty down here! What have you got there?”

50. “我要用这把铲子砍你的头。”普雷布尔先生说。

51. “是吗，呃？”普雷布尔太太说，“嗯，你别那么想了。你想在这个现场的正中央留下一条大大的线索吗，让来调查的侦探一来就发现？去街上找块铁或者什么——不属于你的什么东西。”

52. “哦，好吧，”普雷布尔先生说，“可是街上根本不会有什么一块铁。女人总是以为随便哪儿都能捡到一块铁。”

“I was going to hit you over the head with this shovel,” said Mr. Preble.

“You were, huh?” Said Mrs. Preble. “Well, get that out of your mind. Do you want to leave a great big clue right here in the middle of everything where the first detective that comes snooping around will find it? Go out in the street and find some piece of iron or something—something that doesn't belong to you.”

“Oh, all right,” said Mr. Preble. “But there won't be any piece of iron in the street. Women always expect to pick up a piece of iron anywhere.”

53. “你去对地方就能找到。”普雷布尔太太说，“别去得太久。我看你胆敢去雪茄店待一下。我可不会在这间冰冷的地下室里坐一晚上，会冻坏的。”

54. “好吧，”普雷布尔先生说，“我会赶快。”

55. “把门带好！”她在他身后尖叫道，“你是在哪儿出生的——谷仓里吗？

“If you look in the right place you'll find it,” said Mrs. Preble. “And don't be gone long. Don't you dare stop in at the cigarstore. I'm not going to stand down here in this cold cellar all night and freeze.”

“All right,” said Mr. Preble. “I'll hurry.”

“And shut that door behind you!” She screamed after him. “Where were you born—in a barn?” ♦

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