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TED演讲为什么认为自己丑会对你不利

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MeaghanRamsey:Whythinkingyou'reuglyisbadforyou
所谓“看脸的世界”到底是由谁造成的？是他人的目光亦或是我们看待自己的目光？
你知道吗？认为自己丑不但让自己感觉糟糕，而且还会削弱你的学业成绩，甚至会损害你的健康。而我们要如何改变对自身相貌的不自信呢？从下面这个讲座中找找答案吧！
Whyyoushouldlisten？
MeaghanRamseygetsgiddywatchingher1-year-oldnieceadmireherselfinthemirror.Becausesheknowsthat,fortoomanygirls,thisadmirationstopsastheymoveintoadolescenceandself-doubtabouttheirappearancecreepsin.AstheGlobalDirectoroftheDoveSelf-EsteemProjectatUnilever,Ramseyandher
colleaguesaimtoimprovetheself-esteemofmorethan15milliongirlsandyoungwomenby2015.Sheisastrongambassadorforhelpinggirlsandwomendevelopresilienceinthefaceofaculturethatassaultswithunattainableimagesofbeautyandthinness.
Bothabranddeveloperandstrategist,Ramseyhaslongworkedtofuelbusinessgrowthspurredonbysocialchange.PriortotheDoveSelf-EsteemProject,sheworkedwiththeWorldHeartFederationandtheDietitiansAssociationofAustralia.
TED演讲文本：0:10
Thisismyniece,Stella.She'sjustturnedoneandstartedtowalk.Andshe'swalkinginthatreallycoolwaythatone-year-oldsdo,akindofteetering,my-body's-moving-too-fast-for-my-legskindofway.Itisabsolutelygorgeous.Andoneofherfavoritethingstodoatthemomentistostareatherselfinthemirror.Sheabsolutelylovesherreflection.Shegigglesandsqueals,andgivesherselfthesebig,wetkisses.Itisbeautiful.Apparently,allofherfriendsdothisandmymomtellsmethatIusedtodothis,anditgotmethinking:WhendidIstopdoingthis?Whenisitsuddenlynotokaytolovethewaythatwelook?Becauseapparentlywedon't.1:01
Tenthousandpeopleeverymonthgoogle,"AmIugly?"ThisisFaye.Fayeis13andshelivesinDenver.Andlikeanyteenager,shejustwantstobelikedandtofitin.It'sSundaynight.She'sgettingreadyfortheweekaheadatschool.Andshe's

slightlydreadingit,andshe'sabitconfusedbecausedespitehermomtellingherallthetimethatshe'sbeautiful,everydayatschool,someonetellsherthatshe'sugly.Becauseofthedifferencebetweenwhathermomtellsherandwhatherfriendsatschool,orherpeersatschoolaretellingher,shedoesn'tknowwhotobelieve.So,shetakesavideoofherself.ShepostsittoYouTubeandsheaskspeopletopleaseleaveacomment:"AmIprettyoramIugly?"Well,sofar,Fayehasreceivedover13,000comments.Someofthemaresonasty,theydon'tbearthinkingabout.Thisisanaverage,healthy-lookingteenagegirlreceivingthisfeedbackatoneofthemostemotionallyvulnerabletimesinherlife.Thousandsofpeoplearepostingvideoslikethis,mostlyteenagegirls,reachingoutinthisway.Butwhat'sleadingthemtodothis?2:18
Well,today'steenagersarerarelyalone.They'reunderpressuretobeonlineandavailableatalltimes,talking,messaging,liking,commenting,sharing,posting—itneverends.Neverbeforehavewebeensoconnected,socontinuously,so
instantaneously,soyoung.Andasonemomtoldme,it'slikethere'sapartyintheirbedroomeverynight.There'ssimplynoprivacy.Andthesocialpressuresthatgoalongwiththatarerelentless.Thisalways-onenvironmentistrainingourkidstovaluethemselvesbasedonthenumberoflikestheygetandthetypesofcommentsthattheyreceive.There'snoseparationbetweenonlineandofflinelife.What'srealorwhatisn'tisreallyhardtotellthedifferencebetween.Andit'salsoreallyhardtotellthedifferencebetweenwhat'sauthenticandwhat'sdigitallymanipulated.What'sahighlightinsomeone'slifeversuswhat'snormalinthecontextofeveryday.3:25
Andwherearetheylookingtoforinspiration?Well,youcanseethekindsofimagesthatarecoveringthenewsfeedsofgirlstoday.Sizezeromodelsstilldominateourcatwalks.Airbrushingisnowroutine.Andtrendslike#thinspiration,#thighgap,
#bikinibridgeand#proana.Forthosewhodon'tknow,#proanameanspro-anorexia.Thesetrendsareteamedwiththestereotypingandflagrantobjectificationofwomenintoday'spopularculture.Itisnothardtoseewhatgirlsarebenchmarking
themselvesagainst.Butboysarenotimmunetothiseither.Aspiringtothechiseledjawlinesandrippedsixpacksofsuperhero-likesportsstarsandplayboymusicartists.4:11
But,what'stheproblemwithallofthis?Well,surelywewantourkidstogrowupashealthy,wellbalancedindividuals.Butinanimage-obsessedculture,wearetrainingourkidstospendmoretimeandmentaleffortontheirappearanceattheexpenseofalloftheotheraspectsoftheiridentities.So,thingsliketheirrelationships,thedevelopmentoftheirphysicalabilities,andtheirstudiesandsoonbegintosuffer.Sixoutof10girlsarenowchoosingnottodosomethingbecausetheydon'tthinktheylookgoodenough.Thesearenottrivialactivities.Thesearefundamental

activitiestotheirdevelopmentashumansandascontributorstosocietyandtotheworkforce.Thirty-onepercent,nearlyoneinthreeteenagers,arewithdrawingfromclassroomdebate.They'refailingtoengageinclassroomdebatebecausetheydon'twanttodrawattentiontothewaythattheylook.Oneinfivearenotshowinguptoclassatallondayswhentheydon'tfeelgoodaboutit.Andwhenitcomestoexams,ifyoudon'tthinkyoulookgoodenough,specificallyifyoudon'tthinkyouarethinenough,youwillscorealowergradepointaveragethanyourpeerswhoarenotconcernedwiththis.AndthisisconsistentacrossFinland,theU.S.andChina,andistrueregardlessofhowmuchyouactuallyweigh.Sotobesuperclear,we'retalkingaboutthewayyouthinkyoulook,nothowyouactuallylook.Lowbodyconfidenceisunderminingacademicachievement.5:54
Butit'salsodamaginghealth.Teenagerswithlowbodyconfidencedolessphysicalactivity,eatlessfruitsandvegetables,partakeinmoreunhealthyweightcontrolpracticesthatcanleadtoeatingdisorders.Theyhavelowerself-esteem.They'remoreeasilyinfluencedbypeoplearoundthemandthey'reatgreaterriskof
depression.Andwethinkit'sforallofthesereasonsthattheytakemoreriskswiththingslikealcoholanddruguse;crashdieting;cosmeticsurgery;unprotected,
earliersex;andself-harm.Thepursuitoftheperfectbodyisputtingpressureonourhealthcaresystemsandcostingourgovernmentsbillionsofdollarseveryyear.6:39
Andwedon'tgrowoutofit.Womenwhothinkthey'reoverweight—again,regardlessofwhethertheyareorarenot—havehigherratesofabsenteeism.Seventeenpercentofwomenwouldnotshowuptoajobinterviewonadaywhentheyweren'tfeelingconfidentaboutthewaythattheylook.7:00
Haveathinkaboutwhatthisisdoingtooureconomy.Ifwecouldovercomethis,whatthatopportunitylookslike.Unlockingthispotentialisintheinterestofeverysingleoneofus.7:14
Buthowdowedothat?Well,talking,onitsown,onlygetsyousofar.It'snotenoughbyitself.Ifyouactuallywanttomakeadifference,youhavetodo
something.Andwe'velearnedtherearethreekeyways:Thefirstiswehavetoeducateforbodyconfidence.Wehavetohelpourteenagersdevelopstrategiestoovercomeimage-relatedpressuresandbuildtheirself-esteem.Now,thegoodnewsisthattherearemanyprogramsoutthereavailabletodothis.Thebadnewsisthatmostofthemdon'twork.Iwasshockedtolearnthatmanywell-meaningprogramsareinadvertentlyactuallymakingthesituationworse.Soweneedtomakedamn

surethattheprogramsthatourkidsarereceivingarenotonlyhavingapositiveimpact,buthavingalastingimpactaswell.8:08
Andtheresearchshowsthatthebestprogramsaddresssixkeyareas:Thefirstistheinfluenceoffamily,friendsandrelationships.Thesecondismediaandcelebrityculture,thenhowtohandleteasingandbullying,thewaywecompeteandcomparewithoneanotherbasedonlooks,talkingaboutappearance—somepeoplecallthis"bodytalk"or"fattalk"—andfinally,thefoundationsofrespectingandlookingafteryourself.Thesesixthingsarecrucialstartingpointsforanyoneseriousabout
deliveringbody-confidenceeducationthatworks.Aneducationiscritical,buttacklingthisproblemisgoingtorequireeachandeveryoneofustostepupandbebetterrolemodelsforthewomenandgirlsinourownlives.Challengingthestatusquoofhowwomenareseenandtalkedaboutinourowncircles.9:01
Itisnotokaythatwejudgethecontributionofourpoliticiansbytheirhaircutsorthesizeoftheirbreasts,ortoinferthatthedeterminationorthesuccessofanOlympianisdowntohernotbeingalooker.Weneedtostartjudgingpeoplebywhattheydo,notwhattheylooklike.9:22
Wecanallstartbytakingresponsibilityforthetypesofpicturesandcommentsthatwepostonourownsocialnetworks.Wecancomplimentpeoplebasedontheireffortandtheiractionsandnotontheirappearance.9:38
Andletmeaskyou,whenwasthelasttimethatyoukissedamirror?Ultimately,weneedtoworktogetherascommunities,asgovernmentsandasbusinessestoreallychangethiscultureofourssothatourkidsgrowupvaluingtheirwholeselves,
valuingindividuality,diversity,inclusion.Weneedtoputthepeoplethataremakingarealdifferenceonourpedestals,makingadifferenceintherealworld.Givingthemtheairtime,becauseonlythenwillwecreateadifferentworld.Aworldwhereourkidsarefreetobecomethebestversionsofthemselves,wherethewaytheythinktheylookneverholdsthembackfrombeingwhotheyareorachievingwhattheywantinlife.10:28
Thinkaboutwhatthismightmeanforsomeoneinyourlife.Whohaveyougotinmind?Isityourwife?Yoursister?Yourdaughter?Yourniece?Yourfriend?Itcouldjustbethewomanacoupleofseatsawayfromyoutoday.Whatwoulditmeanfor

herifshewerefreedfromthatvoiceofherinnercritic,nagginghertohavelongerlegs,thinnerthighs,smallerstomach,shorterfeet?Whatcoulditmeanforherifweovercamethisandunlockedherpotentialinthatway?11:06
Rightnow,ourculture'sobsessionwithimageisholdingusallback.Butlet'sshowourkidsthetruth.Let'sshowthemthatthewayyoulookisjustonepartofyouridentityandthatthetruthiswelovethemforwhotheyareandwhattheydoandhowtheymakeusfeel.Let'sbuildself-esteemintoourschoolcurriculums.Let'seachandeveryoneofuschangethewaywetalkandcompareourselvestootherpeople.Andlet'sworktogetherascommunities,fromgrassrootstogovernments,sothatthehappylittleone-year-oldsoftodaybecometheconfidentchangemakersoftomorrow.Let'sdothis.(Applause
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