怎样克服你的虚荣心

怎样克服你的虚荣心

当我还是个小孩时，我听到过一个关于卖热狗的小贩的故事。这个小贩每天穿着滑稽的小丑衣，然后站在人行道上向开车经过的人招揽生意。他非常成功，他送他的儿子上了大学。在临近毕业的时候，已经变得又世故又圆滑的儿子，对他父亲的滑稽动作愈发地感到尴尬。他劝父亲说这不是一个招揽顾客的好办法。他父亲听信了大学生儿子的建议，脱掉了小丑衣，也不再招揽开车的人进他的餐馆。过了一段时间他们的生意越来越萧条，最后他们停业了。

Whether or not that story is true, I recall the ubiquitous TV commercials of a low-cost furniture store owner in Atlanta during the 1980s and 90s. He sported a flowing mane of hair and a thick beard, and called himself the Wolfman. It was an apt name, as he really looked the part. The ads were excruciatingly corny, but exceedingly memorable. Those advertisements were widely mocked, but he was able to put aside his pride and vanity, and continue making them. He made more than 500 of them, each of which were on-the-air thousands of times. They pulled flocks of people into his stores, and in turn he enjoyed a great deal of success.

不管这个故事是真是假，使我又联想起了上个世纪八、九十年代，亚特兰大的一家价格便宜的家具店的老板，做的一个四处泛滥的电视广告。他梳了个头发竖成一排的莫西干发型，满脸的络腮胡，称自己是狼人。这是个恰当的名字，他看上去确实有点像狼人。这个广告粗野得令人难以忍受，但是却格外使人印象深刻。虽然到处受人嘲笑，但是这位老板却能把自己的自尊心和虚荣心搁在一边，继续做广告。他做了500多次广告，每一次都在广播里重复几千遍。这些广告把一群群顾客送上了门，也让他大赚了一把。

Too often we allow our self-consciousness - our fear that people may judge us negatively - to keep us from taking risks or trying new things.

我们过于频繁地允许我们的自我意识——由于我们害怕别人消极的评价——去阻止我们去冒险尝试新鲜事物。

I love the scene, in the movie Breaking Away, when Dave Stoller stands outside the girls’ dormitory and serenades, in a cracking voice, an Italian love song to Katherine, a girl he wants to date. At first her friends laugh, and she acts embarrassed, but he continues on, and eventually she becomes flattered by his bold gesture and goes to him.

我很喜欢电影《告别昨日》里的一个镜头，主人公戴夫-斯托勒站在女生宿舍的外面，用他那破锣嗓子向他心爱的女孩凯瑟琳唱着意大利情歌小夜曲。起初女孩的朋友们都在笑，使她窘迫不堪，但是戴夫不断地唱，最终凯瑟琳被他那大胆的举动逗乐了，并跟了他。

Occasionally I’m asked to coach people in public-speaking, most of whom want to get over their stage-fright. I begin by explaining to them, that their fear comes from being too focused on themselves and not on their words.

有时候我会被请去训练人们在公共场合演讲，大多数人都想摆脱他们的舞台恐惧症。我一开始就向他们解释，他们的恐惧主要是因为把注意力过多地放在了自己身上，而不是自己讲话的内容上。

“You are thinking about yourself and not your message which is all the audience wants. You are worried about what you look like, how you sound, and whether or not you’re going to make a mistake. This is all about you, when your speech should be all about your audience. Think of your speech as a gift you are giving them, and that your contentis all that matters. If you focus your thoughts on making sure your audience receives the vital information they need and want, then you won’t have time to think about yourself.”

“你在过多地在意你自己，而不是听众想听到的你讲的内容。你在担心你的样子，你的声音，还有你会不会犯的错误。这全是关于你的，当你在演讲时你所想的应该全都是你的听众。把你的演讲当做给予大家礼物，你的内容是最重要的，如果你多去想你的听众是否得到了他们需要的主要信息，那么你就没有时间去想你自己了。”

I learned this valuable lesson at a networking event years ago. I was talking with a woman I had just met. We had already exchanged businesses cards and described our companies to each other, when our hostess came over to greet us. She asked the woman if she had heard me speak. She replied, “No, Rob was just telling me he is a speaker, but I have never seen him.”

几年前我在一次社交活动中学到了一些宝贵的经验。我正在和一位我们刚见过一面的女士聊天。我们互相交换了商务名片，各自描述了一下自己所在的公司。这时我们的女主人过来招呼我们。她问这位女士是否听过我的演讲。女士回答道：“没有，罗伯刚刚告诉我他是一个演讲家，但是以前我没有见过他。”

The hostess then added, referring to an exercise I have the audience carry out in my innovation seminars, “Well, if you do, he will have you standing on your chair.” Suddenly the woman gasped, and said, “Wait, I have seen you speak!” She then proceeded to tell where and when she had heard me, as well as, recounting one of my stories which illustrated one of the creative-thinking techniques I teach, and how she had used it in her business.

然后女主人又补充了一下，提到了在我的创新方法研讨班里我让听众们做的一个练习，"是这样，当你做的时候，他会让你站在你的椅子上。"         突然这位女士打断说,"等等，我以前听过你的演讲！"然后她接着说她什么时候在哪听过我演讲，而且，回想起了我所教的一个创新思维的小技巧，以及她如何如何在她的生意中运用。

I stood there deeply humbled; she remembered a story I told, but she did not remember my face, my name or my company name. The purpose I had set out to achieve had been accomplished, she found my information useful and implemented it.

我谦虚地站在那儿；她记住了我所讲的故事，但是没有记住我的样子，我的名字还有我公司的名字。我想要达到的意图已经实现了：使她发现我讲的信息有用，然后加以运用。

The lesson I learned was to keep telling good stories, but give the audience something with my name on it to take home, so they could remember and recommend me to others.

我所学到经验就是继续讲好听的故事，但是要让听众们把有用的信息和我的名字一起带回家，这样他们就可以记住我并把我推荐给其他人。

If you have a goal you wish to achieve, or an idea you want to try, don’t let your fear of embarrassment keep you from it. Focus on the reward and take a bold step toward it.

所以，如果你有一个渴望达到的目标，或者一个你希望去尝试的想法，不要让你对尴尬的恐惧阻碍你。瞄准目标大胆地行动吧。

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