● 张庭琛译
Spring, the River, Flowers, the Moon Night
春江潮水连海平，海上明月共潮生。
In spring the river swells level with sea,
The bright moon rise mounting the tide.
滟滟随波千万里，何处春江无月明？
Waters flash with infinite light.
Where on the spring river is there no bright moon?
江流宛转绕芳甸，月照花林皆似霰。
The river winds through flower fragrant fields,
Glistening in the moonlight like beads of ice.
空里流霜不觉飞，汀上白沙看不见。
Who can see the frost alight,
Or tell the island's white sand from the moon's white glow?
江天一色无纤尘，皎皎空中孤月轮。
The sky, the river - one perfect hue.
Bright, bright - the solitary circle in the sky.
江畔何人初见月？江月何年初照人？
When did the moon first shine on men?
Who first saw the moon from the riverside?
人生代代无穷已，江月年年只相似。
Human beings, generation after generation without end,
See the same river, the same moon:
不知江月待何人，但见长江送流水。
Does anyone know whom she awaits?
We see only the long river moving on.
白云一片去悠悠，青枫浦上不胜愁。
A wisp of cloud lingers in the sky
谁家今夜扁舟子？何处相思明月楼？
What household tonight has a wanderer adrift upon the tide?
Upon what lonely woman's roof does the moon shine?
可怜楼上月徘徊，应照离人妆镜台。
Pitiful, the light playing upon the house,
Moving over the dressing table of one left behind.
玉户帘中卷不去，捣衣砧上拂还来。
Impossible, to brush it off the washing block, or
Rolling down the blinds, to keep it out.
此时相望不相闻，愿逐月华流照君。
Green Maple Pond!
So far! Unbearable!
Now we only trace each other's likeness in the moon.
If only I could stream down upon you in the moonlight,
鸿雁长飞光不度，鱼龙潜跃水成文。
Or send a message by the fish that leaping from the water plunges to
The depth or by the wild goose that soaring high into the sky remains within the brightness.
昨夜闲潭梦落花，可怜春半不还家。
Last night I dreamt of petals falling
Into the stillness of the pond,
A pity, half the spring - passed without your returning.
江水流春去欲尽，江潭落月复西斜。
Spring! Almost exhausted, swept away with the river's waters.
Now dim, hidden in a sea of rising mist,
斜月沉沉藏海雾，碣石潇湘无限路。
The moon slants westward over the river and the pond.
Endless, the road from Jieshi to the Xiang River.
不知乘月几人归？落月摇情满江树。
How many will return by moonlight?
Setting, the moon seems to shake the flowering trees along the
River with unquiet thought.
● 许渊冲译
A Moonlit Night on the Spring River
春江潮水连海平﹐
In spring the river rises as high as the sea,
海上明月共潮生。
And with the river's rise the moon uprises bright.
滟滟随波千万里﹐
She follows the rolling waves for ten thousand li,
何处春江无月明。
And where the river flows there overflows her light.
江流宛转绕芳甸﹐
The river winds around the fragrant islet where
月照花林皆似霰。
The blooming flowers in her light all look like snow.
空里流光不觉飞﹐
You cannot tell her beams from hoar frost in the air,
汀上白沙看不见。
Nor from white sand upon the farewell Beach below.
江天一色无纤尘﹐
No dust has stained the water blending with the skies;
皎皎空中孤月轮。
A lonely wheel-like moon shines briliant far and wide.
江畔何人初见月﹐
Who by the riverside first saw the moon arise?
江月何年初照人。
When did the moon first see a man by riverside?
人生代代无穷矣﹐
Ah, generations have come and past away;
江月年年只相似。
From year to year the moons look alike, old and new.
不知江月待何人﹐
We do not know tonight for whom she sheds her ray,
但见长江送流水。
But hear the river say to its water adieu.
白云一片去悠悠﹐
Away, away is sailing a single cloud white;
青枫浦上不胜愁。
On Farewell Beach are pining away maples green.
谁家今夜扁舟子﹐
Where is the wanderer sailing his boat tonight?
何处相思明月楼。
Who, pining away on the moonlight rails would lean?
可怜楼上月徘徊﹐
Alas! The moon is lingering over the tower,
应照离人妆镜台。
It should have seen the dressing table of the fair.
玉户帘中卷不去﹐
She rolls the curtain up and light comes in her bower;
捣衣砧上复还来。
She washes but can't wash away the moonbeams there.
此时相望不相闻﹐
She sees the moon, but her beloved is out of sight;
愿逐月华流照君。
She'd follow it to shine on her beloved one's face.
鸿燕长飞光不渡﹐
But message bearing swans can't fly out of moonlight,
鱼龙潜跃水成纹。
Nor letter-sending fish can leap out of their place.
昨夜闲潭梦落花﹐
Last night he dreamed that falling flowers would not stay,
可怜春半不还家。
Alas! He can't go home although half spring has gone.
江水流春去欲尽﹐
The running water bearing spring will pass away;
江潭落月复西斜。
The moon declinging over the pool will sink anon.
斜月沉沉藏海雾﹐
The moon declining sinks into a heavy mid;
碣石潇湘无限路。
It's a long way between South River and East Sea.
不知乘月几人归﹐
How many can go home by moonlight who are missed?
落月摇情满江树。
The sinking moon sheds yearning o'er riverside tree.
*******************************************
许渊冲教授英译《春江花月夜》研读与详析
张若虚《春江花月夜》这首诗，几年前我泛读过许老的英语译文。这是许老自己十分欣赏与重视的译品，多次放置在序言的位置，并附有一位世界名人的赞许。包括2008年出版的《续忆似水年华》（是长江文艺出版社出版的那本，不是半年后三联书店出的那本），也是这样安排的。最近我研读了许老的韵文英译。同时还读到许老全文引用的Charbles Budd 1912年的译品。Charbles Budd也是主张自然押韵的，因为译文只有少数几行在末尾“押韵”（即同音节）；可能是由于外国人理解原文的难度问题，个别地方似乎未必切合原文；但从英语的通顺与地道来说，显然非我们中国翻译家可比。
现在分节逐句地研读分析许老的译文，难免不妥与错误，请予批评指正。
春江花月夜
张若虚
春江潮水连海平﹐海上明月共潮生。
滟滟随波千万里﹐何处春江无月明。
A Moonlit Night on the Spring River
By zhang Ruoxu
In spring the river rises as high as the sea,
And with the river's rise the moon uprises bright.
She follows the rolling waves for ten thousand li,
And where the river flows there overflows her light.
“何处春江无月明”意译出“春江在哪里流，哪里就流淌或溢出月光。”rise在第一行是动词，在第二行是名词；uprise vi. 通常表示起床、起身；起义、暴动；诗里可以表示日月的“升起”，但the moon uprises bright. 加用bright，是为了跟light押韵。
江流宛转绕芳甸﹐月照花林皆似霰。
空里流光不觉飞﹐汀上白沙看不见。
The river winds around the fragrant islet where
The blooming flowers in her light all look like snow.
You cannot tell her beams from hoar frost in the air,
Nor from white sand upon the farewell Beach below.
这一段是意译；wind是动词，在主句中作谓语，表示“蜿蜒绕行”。“月照花林皆似霰”译成从句（where）
The blooming flowers in her light all look like snow.“霰”意译成 snow“雪”，跟below押韵；但这里用the farewell Beach below翻译，不知根据什么？合适吗？而且，the farewell Beach还是像下文那样写成Farewell Beach？另外，这里写hoar frost，用英语写的Commentary里，却用hoary frost；看来译者本人对自己的英语也像是犹豫不决，举棋不定。
江天一色无纤尘﹐皎皎空中孤月轮。
江畔何人初见月﹐江月何年初照人。
No dust has stained the water blending with the skies;
A lonely wheel-like moon shines briliant far and wide.
Who by the riverside first saw the moon arise?
When did the moon first see a man by riverside?
成语far and wide（到处，各地）用得好，因为wide还可以跟riverside押韵。
为了“押韵”而用复数skies，此处用得不错（虽然离现代口语远了点），因为它表示“天色、天气”；比如in the sky里，就不能换成复数skies；我再引用两句诗作为例证：
拜伦爱情诗《She Walks in Beauty》开头四行写：
She walks in beauty, like the night
Of cloudless climes and starry skies;
And all that's best of dark and bright
Meet in her aspect and her eyes;
这里就用了复数skies，表示“天色”，即“天空的景色”；
约翰.济兹《On First Looking into Chapman's Homer》中间部分也出现这种用法：
Then fell I like some watcher of the skies
When a new planet swims into his ken;
Or like stout Cottez when with eagle eyes
He start'd at the Pacific and all his men.
有趣的是：这两处，都是skies与eyes照应并押韵。原来天空的景色在吸引诗人的眼球啊！
人生代代无穷矣﹐江月年年只相似。
不知江月待何人﹐但见长江送流水。
Ah, generations have come and past away;
From year to year the moons look alike, old and new.
We do not know tonight for whom she sheds her ray,
But hear the river say to its water adieu.
有两个英语问题。ray（光线）多用复数，如果用单数，前面要用a；“月亮”译成复数moons，对吗？old and new修饰moons好吗？
adieu感叹词，表示“再见“；用来意译“但见长江送流水。”
白云一片去悠悠﹐青枫浦上不胜愁。
谁家今夜扁舟子﹐何处相思明月楼。
Away, away is sailing a single cloud white;
On Farewell Beach are pining away maples green.
Where is the wanderer sailing his boat tonight?
Who, pining away on the moonlight rails would lean?
the moonlight rails对吗？ pine vi憔悴， 消瘦；对人用pine away “消瘦”，枫树难道也用pine away “消瘦”？我前面提到过Farewell Beach根据什么？
最后一句在语法上有问题：
Who, pining away on the moonlight rails would lean?
可怜楼上月徘徊﹐应照离人妆镜台。
玉户帘中卷不去﹐捣衣砧上复还来。
Alas! The moon is lingering over the tower,
It should have seen the dressing table of the fair.
She rolls the curtain up and light comes in her bower;
She washes but can't wash away the moonbeams there.
直译原文，基本表达了原文意思，中国读者容易接受。
此时相望不相闻﹐愿逐月华流照君。
鸿燕长飞光不渡﹐鱼龙潜跃水成纹。
She sees the moon, but her beloved is out of sight;
She'd follow it to shine on her beloved one's face.
But message bearing swans can't fly out of moonlight,
Nor letter-sending fish can leap out of their place.
后两行或后两句直译原文“鸿燕长飞光不渡﹐鱼龙潜跃水成纹。”但message bearing swans不合乎英语语法；而半复合词letter-sending 在词典里也找不到。
昨夜闲潭梦落花﹐可怜春半不还家。
江水流春去欲尽﹐江潭落月复西斜。
Last night he dreamed that falling flowers would not stay,
Alas! He can't go home although half spring has gone.
The running water bearing spring will pass away;
The moon declining over the pool will sink anon.
译文一直保持四行。直译原文，基本表达了原文意思，中国读者容易接受。但half spring has gone不地道；后两句的分词与将来式的用法，就值得商榷。原来也与押韵有关，第四行用副词anon（以后，不久以后）为了跟gone押韵，于是只好相应地两次用will表示“将来式”了！
斜月沉沉藏海雾﹐碣石潇湘无限路。
不知乘月几人归﹐落月摇情满江树。
The moon declining sinks into a heavy mid;
It's a long way between South River and East Sea.
How many can go home by moonlight who are missed?
The sinking moon sheds yearning o'er riverside tree.
“斜月沉沉藏海雾”为何译成The moon declining sinks into a heavy mid？a heavy mid表示什么意思呢？
总之，许老的译文参考与借鉴了别人的译文，但自己也费了功夫，特别是让每行末尾押韵，难能可贵。在许老的诸多译品中，应该说是较好的。但也还是有多处英语错误。特别是语言显得不怎么地道，有中国式英语之嫌。
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