演讲稿之英文演讲搞笑开场白

英文演讲搞笑开场白

【篇一：英语演讲幽默开场白】

英语演讲幽默开场白

作为一个演讲者，我从观众那只得到过两种抱怨：一种是我讲话声音太大了，他们无法入睡；第二种是我讲得时间太长了，他们无法一直清醒。

as a speaker, i’ve only had two complaints from audiences. one, that i talk so loud they can’t fall asleep. and two, that i talk so long they can’t stay awake.创新句子：你们或者睡觉，或者不睡，只要不打呼噜，我就接着讲。

作为一个讲演者，他的演讲总拿来和林肯的哥得堡演讲[一个著名的演讲]相比较。当他演讲结束时，也有悲伤、眼泪和悲痛——特别是计划委员会。

as a speaker, he has often been compared to abraham lincoln delivering the gettysburg address. when he finishes his speech, there is also sorrow, tears and mourning ---- especially by the program committee.

幽默注释：演讲者讲得太糟糕了，组织者哭得很伤心。

演讲结束时，宴会主人感谢你从繁忙的日程中抽出时间来——你泰然自若，优雅地点头微笑着，心里非常清楚你日历上唯一的事情就是就早餐后喝点咖啡poise is when you finish your speech and the toastmaster thanks you for taking time out of your busy schedule to be a part of their program --- and you nod and smile graciously knowing full well that the only thing on your calendar is a little coffee from breakfast.

幽默注释：一些老干部退休后没什么事干，有人请他参加一些活动，他还假装很忙，好象推开了很多事才赶去似的。

过去我演讲时常常会比较紧张，但那时我看到一条信息说如果你想象所有的观众都是裸体会有所帮助。此时此刻，我站在这里想象着观众都是裸体，真的起作用，我不再紧张了，但眼睛有些疲劳。

i used to get nervous when giving a speech but then i read that it helps to think of the entire audience as being naked. and so, at this very moment, i’m standing up here imagining every one in this audience as being naked. and it really works. i no suffer from nervousness. eyestrain. yes

幽默注释：把观众想象成裸体，意思是我不怕你们，就不紧张了。

创新句子：大部分人站在讲台上都会有点儿紧张，我属于少部分人，我非常

紧张。

我本人不自负——我简直不能告诉你们我是多么钦佩我这一点。

personally, i have never been conceited --- and i can’t tell you how much i admire myself for that.

幽默句子：他因为自己不自负，所以变得非常骄傲。

创新句子：我一点儿都不自负，我希望别人也这么看我.

我先用简单明了的英语演讲，以后我再翻译给律师听。

let me put this into plain english. i’ll translate it for the lawyers later.幽默注释：律师总喜欢用复杂的语言，简单的话都听不懂了。

创新句子：我的讲话有三个版本，小学生版本，中学生版本，大学生版本，你是听小学一年纪版的，还是小学二年纪版的？

如果你听过这个故事，请不要打断我，我就知道这一个故事。

if you’ve already heard this story, please don’t stop me because it’s the only one i know.

幽默注释：就是你知道两个故事，讲故事前也可以这么说。

创新句子：我讲个笑话，如果你们听过，也希望装做没听过，我也这样照顾你们。

演讲就象给草坪浇水，如果有四分之一的水渗下去你就满意了。

making a speech is like watering a lawn. you’re satisfied if just a quarter of it sinks in.

幽默注释：有人打呼噜，有人说话，都是正常的，有四分之一观众听就不错了。

演讲开始时我们有一些共同点，你们不知道我要讲什么——我也不知道。at the very start, let me just say that we both have something in common. you don’t know what i’m going to say --- and neither do i.

幽默句子：即兴演讲的开场白。

创新句子：我不知道你们会不会喜欢我的演讲，我不知道我要讲点儿什么开始前我想告诉你们下面的演讲已经编辑成了电视节目，我现在少讲20分钟，我们能够及时赶回家看2台的节目。

before i begin, i want you to know that the following speech has been edited for

television. i cut 20 minutes out of it so we could all get home in time for the game on channel 2.

幽默注释：放着现场不看，偏要回家在电视上看。

可能你们有些人知道我今晚出现在这里有两个原因：第一个原因是你们的计划委员会一直在设法寻找一个聪明、有趣、老练的演讲者，——他们找到了。第二个原因是那个人病了，所以就打电话把我找来了。

as some of you may know, i’m appearing here tonight for two very good reasons. the first reason is your program committee was trying to find a speaker who’s intelligent, entertaining, sophisticated --- and they did. the second reason is, he got sick so they called me.

幽默注释：一开始好象在说自己很牛，其实就是个临时替场。

创新句子：我认为我演讲很风趣，可为什么没人笑呢？

【篇二：中英文幽默演讲】

幽默演讲——调侃自己（中英对照）

如果你想学习英语，如果你喜欢幽默，喜欢演讲，可以时不时光顾一下我的博客，抽空我请你吃冰激凌。（欢迎光临我的网站

www.humorenglish.cn）

演讲者如何调侃自己

作为一个演讲者，我从观众那只得到过两种抱怨：一种是我讲话声音太大了，他们无法入睡；第二种是我讲得时间太长了，他们无法一直清醒。 as a speaker, i’ve only had two complaints from audiences. one, that i talk so loud they can’t fall asleep. and two, that i talk so long they can’t stay awake.

创新句子：你们或者睡觉，或者不睡，只要不打呼噜，我就接着讲。

作为一个讲演者，他的演讲总拿来和林肯的哥得堡演讲[一个著名的演讲]相比较。当他演讲结束时，也有悲伤、眼泪和悲痛——特别是计划委员会。 as a speaker, he has often been compared to abraham lincoln delivering the gettysburg address. when he finishes his speech, there is also sorrow, tears and mourning ---- especially by the program committee.

幽默注释：演讲者讲得太糟糕了，组织者哭得很伤心。

演讲结束时，宴会主人感谢你从繁忙的日程中抽出时间来——你泰然自若，优雅地点头微笑着，心里非常清楚你日历上唯一的事情就是就早餐后喝点咖啡。

poise is when you finish your speech and the toastmaster thanks you for taking time out of your busy schedule to be a part of their program --- and you nod and smile graciously knowing full well that the only thing on your calendar is a little coffee from breakfast.

幽默注释：一些老干部退休后没什么事干，有人请他参加一些活动，他还假装很忙，好象推开了很多事才赶去似的。

过去我演讲时常常会比较紧张，但那时我看到一条信息说如果你想象所有的观众都是裸体会有所帮助。此时此刻，我站在这里想象着观众都是裸体，真的起作用，我不再紧张了，但眼睛有些疲劳。

i used to get nervous when giving a speech but then i read that it helps to think of the entire audience as being naked. and so, at this very moment, i’m

standing up here imagining every one in this audience as being naked. and it really works. i no suffer from nervousness. eyestrain. yes.

幽默注释：把观众想象成裸体，意思是我不怕你们，就不紧张了。

创新句子：大部分人站在讲台上都会有点儿紧张，我属于少部分人，我非常紧张。

我本人不自负——我简直不能告诉你们我是多么钦佩我这一点。 personally, i have never been conceited --- and i can’t tell you how much i admire myself for that.

幽默句子：他因为自己不自负，所以变得非常骄傲。

创新句子：我一点儿都不自负，我希望别人也这么看我。

我先用简单明了的英语演讲，以后我再翻译给律师听。

let me put this into plain english. i’ll translate it for the lawyers later. 幽默注释：律师总喜欢用复杂的语言，简单的话都听不懂了。

创新句子：我的讲话有三个版本，小学生版本，中学生版本，大学生版本，你是听小学一年纪版的，还是小学二年纪版的？

如果你听过这个故事，请不要打断我，我就知道这一个故事。

if you’ve already heard this story, please don’t stop me because it’s the only one i know.

幽默注释：就是你知道两个故事，讲故事前也可以这么说。

创新句子：我讲个笑话，如果你们听过，也希望装做没听过，我也这样照顾你们。

演讲就象给草坪浇水，如果有四分之一的水渗下去你就满意了。

making a speech is like watering a lawn. you’re satisfied if just a quarter of it sinks in.

幽默注释：有人打呼噜，有人说话，都是正常的，有四分之一观众听就不错了。

演讲开始时我们有一些共同点，你们不知道我要讲什么——我也不知道。 at the very start, let me just say that we both have something in common. you don’t know what i’m going to say --- and neither do i.

幽默句子：即兴演讲的开场白。

创新句子：我不知道你们会不会喜欢我的演讲，我不知道我要讲点儿什么。

开始前我想告诉你们下面的演讲已经编辑成了电视节目，我现在少讲20分钟，我们能够及时赶回家看2台的节目。

before i begin, i want you to know that the following speech has been edited for television. i cut 20 minutes out of it so we could all get home in time for the game on channel 2.

幽默注释：放着现场不看，偏要回家在电视上看。

可能你们有些人知道我今晚出现在这里有两个原因：第一个原因是你们的计划委员会一直在设法寻找一个聪明、有趣、老练的演讲者，——他们找到了。第二个原因是那个人病了，所以就打电话把我找来了。

as some of you may know, i’m appearing here tonight for two very good reasons. the first reason is your program committee was trying to find a speaker who’s intelligent, entertaining, sophisticated --- and they did. the second reason is, he got sick so they called me.

幽默注释：一开始好象在说自己很牛，其实就是个临时替场。

创新句子：我认为我演讲很风趣，可为什么没人笑呢？

有人有舞台恐惧症，我没有；舞台不会怎么样我，是观众快把我吓死了！ some people suffer from stage fright. i don’t. the stage doesn’t bother me at all. it’s the audience that scares the hell out of me!

幽默注释：stage fright舞台恐惧症，而不是舞台吓唬我。

我们每个人都希望能在某一时刻把时钟拨回去。如果我能够把时钟拨回去 at one time or another, i think each of us has wished we could turn back the clock. i know if i could turn back the clock just 45 minutes, i’d be the happiest person in this room. because that’s when i left my speech on the kitchen table. 幽默注释：自己上台前还在刻苦练习，演讲稿落家里了，讲错了希望观众包涵。

我不想吹牛，但上次我演讲时所有的观众都站了起来，他们再也没有坐下，直到走到他们的汽车那儿。

i don’t want to brag, but the last time i did this it brought the audience to its feet. and they never sat down again until they reached their cars.

幽默注释：观众听他演讲，都站起来走了，他还在吹牛呢。

创新句子：我演讲时用一种平缓的语速娓娓道来，观众睡得很香甜。

如果我有点儿犹豫，你们一定要原谅我，这是我第一次饭后演讲——在卖当劳里冲我的小孩儿喊叫除外。

if i’m a little hesitant, you’ll have to excuse me. this is the first after-dinner speech i’ve ever made ---except for yelling at my kids in mcdonald’s. 幽默注释：自嘲自己演讲没什么经验。

创新句子：你可能知道我已经养成了饭后演讲的习惯。

我不习惯面对这么多观众演讲，让我鼓起勇气的一件事情就是我在谈论我最喜欢的题目——我。

i’m not used to speaking to such a large audience. the one thing that gives me courage is that i’m speaking on my favorite subject --- me.

幽默注释：电视上老是邀请一些名人在那儿大谈自己，这些人开场可以这么说。

人们总问我为什么我戴顶10加仑的红色帽子（或者一些其它非常显眼的衣服饰品），我告诉他们那是我采取的积极现实的生活态度。我知道不管发生什么事情，善良的上帝总在注视着我们。现在地球上有60亿人，我希望上帝能从芸芸众生中一眼就挑出我来。

people always ask me why i wear a big red ten gallon hat (or some other very noticeable article of clothing) and i tell them. it has to do with taking a positive but practical view of life. for instance, i know that no matter what happens, the good lord is watching over us. then again, there are now six billion of us, so i want to make darn sure he can pick me out of the crowd.

【篇三：精彩英语演讲开场白示例】

精彩英语演讲开场白示例

有了好的开头，英语演讲便成功了一半。好的英语演讲开头能够吸引听众的注意力，让你的英语演讲获得更多人的认可。那么，英语演讲的开头应该怎么写才能吸引听众的注意力呢?下面与你分享精彩的英语演讲开场白示例。

1、精彩英语演讲开场白示例一：问候听众，介绍自己

good morning/afternoon/evening ladies and gentleman, thank you for being on time/making the effort to come today. let me introduce myself first. my name is...

英语演讲稿开头怎么写?英语演讲稿的开头问候听众是最基本的礼貌。在一个陌生的场合作英语演讲，英语演讲稿的开头可以先介绍自己。人的好奇心都特别强，如果台上站着一个不认识的人作演讲，听众们一定都想知道演讲者的身份背景信息。所以在英语演讲的开头，大大方方将自己介绍给听众，让大家认识自己，无论如何，这总比演讲结束了，台下的观众还不知道台上那个家伙是谁要强!英语演讲稿开头怎么写

英语演讲稿开头怎么写?精彩英语演讲开场白示例

2、精彩英语演讲开场白示例二：受邀致辞

id like to thank you for inviting/asking me/giving me the chance to...

i am grateful for the opportunity to present...

通常情况下，在一起企业活动或者学术活动中，有的演讲者会作为嘉宾被邀请发言。这个时候，你可以通过上述英语演讲开场白来发表讲话。

3、精彩英语演讲开场白示例三：告知演讲主题

thank you for giving me the opportunity to tell you about...

the subject of my presentation is...

英语演讲稿的开头要记得告知听众演讲的主题，不要一篇英语演讲洋洋洒洒结束了，听众还对你所讲述的主题不甚明了，那就太悲剧了。一开始就告诉听众主题，让他们带着已有的自我认知跟着你的演讲往下听，他们的兴趣会更浓厚，如果他们听了半天不知道主题，又没怎么完全听懂，演讲就没有太大效果。

4、精彩英语演讲开场白示例四：引起听众兴趣

over the next ten minutes you are going to hear about something that will change the way your companies operate...

at the end of this presentation you will understand why this company has been so successful for so long...

在英语演讲稿的开头引入一些引起听众兴趣的内容是演讲的技巧。你想要为听众讲一个不一样的故事?你想要为听众留一个悬念，让听众在你的英语演讲中找寻答案?那就试试上述这两

种英语演讲开场白的表达方式吧。

英语演讲稿开头怎么写?希望岱恩英语老师分享的精彩英语演讲开场白示例能够为你提供帮助。同时，岱恩英语老师也要提醒大家，一场成功的英语演讲光靠英语演讲稿是不够的，还需要掌握很多英语演讲方法和技巧，并且一个人的英语演讲能力也是需要反复锻炼才能提升的。希望大家好好学习，早日成为英语演讲高手!

最新英文演讲稿开场白

尊敬的评委，尊贵的来宾，女士们，先生们，大家晚上好!能够站在这里进行演说，我感到十分荣幸。今天我将和大家一起分享??

honorable judges,distinguished guests,ladies and gentlemen,good evening!i feel really honored to stand here and make a speech.today im going to look together with you into this question:??

good morning everybody!its my honor to speak here,and i am very glad to share my topic with you. then today id like to talk something about.....

(大家早上好!能在这里做此次演讲我十分荣幸，也很高兴能跟大家一起分享我的主题，今天我想演讲的是......)

good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the english speaking competition for grade 2005. (掌声~~~) first of all, (motivational model yuedu.mipang.com) please allow me to introduce myself, your host for today. i’m sammy from cla6, grade 2005.

(译文：女士们，先生们，大家晚上好!欢迎来到05级英语演讲比赛的现常首先，请允许我来个自我介绍。我是今晚的主持人—来自05级6班的典典。)

there are all together 26 contestants to compete in today’s english speaking competition, all from grade 2005. and this competition will be mediated by a panel of five judges. also on the panel are “question masters” who will be responsible for raising questions of today’s contestants. now, i have the great privilege of presenting today’s judges.

(译文：角逐今晚比赛的有26名选手,他们均来自外院05级的同学。此次比赛我们邀请到了五名评委，五名评委中有两名是“提问员”，这两名“提问员”将对每位选手进行提问。好的，我很荣幸地向大家介绍一下我们的五位评委。 微笑状~)

ladies and gentlemen, miliu, (掌声~~~) welcome; miluo, (掌声~~~)welcome?ok, after introducing our judges, now let’s go over the rules of the competition.

(译文：女士们，先生们，她们是刘老师，欢迎!骆老师，欢迎!?好的，介绍完我们的评委之后，让我们来看看今天的比赛规则吧。 微笑状~)

each of the contestants has 3 minutes to present a prepared speech and 2 minutes to answer questions raised by the judges.

(译文：每位选手要进行3分钟的命题演讲和2分钟的回答。)

during the prepared speech, a staff member will raise a yellow board as a signal that there is half a minute left. then, at the end of 3minutes, a red board will be raised to let the speaker know that the time has run out. so, please raise the red board. thank you!

(译文：在命题演讲环节，在选手的演讲时间还剩下半分钟的时候，我们的工作人员将会举一块黄颜色的牌子示意。当3分钟时间一到，我们的工作人员会举一块红色的牌子示意时间已到。现在，工作人员示意一下下。谢谢! 微笑状~)

now the topic for today’s prepared speech is “olympic games, beijing 2008”.

(译文：今天的命题演讲的题目是：北京2008奥运会。)

ladies and gentlemen, the top four winners today will be able to attend the college final to be held on november 3rd.

(译文：女士们，先生们，今晚比赛的前四名选手将可以参加11月3号晚上的院里的决赛。)

now let’s welcome contestant no.1

(译文：现在，让我们有请1号选手。 微笑状~)

thank you for contestant no.1, now let’s welcome contestant no.2.

(译文：谢谢1号选手的演讲。接下来，让我们有请我们的2号选手。 微笑状~)

thank you for contestant no.2. here, ladies and gentlemen, i would like to announce the score of contestant no.1 is 86.6. congratulations! now, let’s welcome contestant no.3

(译文：谢谢我们的2号选手。女士们，先生们，下面我宣布1号选手的最后得分是：86.6分。恭喜!接下来，让我们有请我们的3号选手。 微笑状~)

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