Descriptive writing

Descriptive writing

The descriptive essay presents a word-picture of persons, places, objects, and emotions. The writer uses a careful selection of specific and concrete details to make a clear dominant impression on the reader. A descriptive essay can be objective or subjective and the writer’s purpose is to involve the reader enough so that s/he can actually visualize what is being described. The best description appeals to the five senses: sight, sound, touch, smell, and taste. As you work on your own descriptive essay, the main thing to remember is this rule: show, don’t tell.

I. Description of a person

Principles: Descriptions of people may focus on the various aspects of the people described — their physical appearance, style of clothing, their character and personality, their interests and behavior. What you select to describe depends on your topic and purpose.

● Describe clearly.

● Select only appropriate details.

● Make your descriptions vivid.

Sample A :Remember that you can’t write good descriptions without being specific. The following is a typical example of the descriptive essay, in which the writer Loe Dobbs uses specific details to create a portrait of his father who has affected his life greatly.

“Terrific Work”

By Loe Dobbs

I grew up in Childress, Texas, a town of nearly 8,000, where Dad had a farm-machinery business. I hauled hay, picked potatoes and did other chores, but my father always insisted that schoolwork come first.

He may not have had much formal education — Dad left school in the eighth grade — but he possessed a world of knowledge. He was a voracious reader who was smarter about current affairs than anyone I knew. At the dinner table he pushed me to think and to defend my opinions. These discussions sparked in me an intense curiosity about the world and taught me the importance of attaining the best education I could.

It also helped that Dad believed praise was a more powerful motivator than criticism. When I brought home a good report card, he would say, “Terrific work!” and that was enough to inspire me to bring home an even better one next time. This approach proved successful, and when it came time for me to go to college, I was lucky enough to be accepted by Harvard.

Honesty was supremely important to Dad. He stressed that an honest life is an honorable life. I always remember him telling me, “Say what you mean and mean what you say.”

My father has been gone thirty years now, but he still lives on in me and my children. I tried to raise them as he raised me, and I have wished countless times that he could see us now.

Sample B: Read the essay below and notice how the writer uses appropriate details to present an unforgettable professor to the readers.

My Favorite Professor

In my more ambitious academic days, I was majoring in both mathematics and journalism. I was not a typical math major; my classes did not come easily to me despite my professors’ most brave efforts. While my peers tended to tackle their homework without too much sweat, I struggled to keep pace. Dr. Rudy Horne taught my differential equations course, which dealt with material I considered quite challenging.

I still remember the first day of class. Dr. Horne had the rare ability to make difficult maths seem simple. Of course, I still failed to keep up, so I attended his open office hours every week to catch up on material that I could not digest in class. Dr. Horne’s office hours were his strongest point. At first, I was concerned that he would not be pleased with how much extra help I was seeking. I was worried for no reason. Not only would he go through any homework problem with which I struggled, but he made sure I knew that he wanted me to be there. After the work on differential equations was finished, we would sit and chat about Carolina sports, the dynamics of the classroom and even his friend’s upcoming wedding. Needless to say, Dr. Horne became a friend in that mathematical part of my life where I needed the most support.

I had a difficult time telling certain people about my decision to focus solely on journalism. Months after my decision, I still had not told Dr. Horne. I did not want to disappoint him since he had spent so much of his time helping me. I eventually ran into him at a movie theater on Franklin Street. We went out for coffee after the film to catch up with each other. When I told him about my decision and the reasons behind it, he could not have been more supportive. I realized then that even though he was an experienced mathematician who had been dragged into my mathematical struggles, he really wanted what was best for me. That, to me, is the definition of a friend.

Sample C: To create a good descriptive essay about a person, you should try to make your description lively. The following is an essay written by Katharine Brush, first published on March 16, 1946, in The New Yorker. As you read it, note how the writer vividly presents the portraits of the couple who fail to communicate well with each other. Discuss the questions after the essay.

Birthday Party

by Katharine Brush

They were a couple in their late thirties, and they looked unmistakably married. They sat on the banquette opposite us in a little narrow restaurant, having dinner. The man had a round, self-satisfied face, with glasses on it; the woman was fadingly pretty, in a big hat. There was nothing conspicuous about them, nothing particularly noticeable, until the end of their meal, when it suddenly became obvious that this was an Occasion — in fact, the husband’s birthday, and the wife had planned a little surprise for him.

It arrived, in the form of a small but glossy birthday cake, with one pink candle burning in the center. The headwaiter brought it in and placed it before the husband, and meanwhile the violin-and-piano orchestra played “Happy Birthday to You” and the wife beamed with shy pride over her little surprise, and such few people as there were in the restaurant tried to help out with a pattering of applause. It became clear at once that help was needed, because the husband was not pleased. Instead he was hotly embarrassed, and indignant at his wife for embarrassing him.

You looked at him and you saw this and you thought, “Oh, now, don’t be like that!” But he was like that, and as soon as the little cake had been deposited on the table, and the orchestra had finished the birthday piece, and the general attention had shifted from the man and the woman, I saw him say something to her under his breath — some punishing thing, quick and curt and unkind. I couldn’t bear to look at the woman then, so I stared at my plate and waited for quite a long time. Not long enough, though. She was still crying when I finally glanced over there again. Crying quietly and heartbrokenly and hopelessly, all to herself, under the gay big brim of her best hat.

Questions on content and structure: Birthday Party

1. How does the writer create a striking image of the birthday cake delivered to their table?

2. Why is the husband embarrassed? How does he show his embarrassment? Can you understand how he feels? Why, then, do we find it hard to sympathize with him?

3. Do you think the writer uses the quotation “Oh, now, don’t be like that!” to convey her personal attitude toward the two characters described?

4. Why does the writer present the detail “I saw him say something to her under his breath — some punishing thing, quick and curt and unkind”?

5. Why does the writer make the description: “She was still crying when I finally glanced over there again. Crying quietly and heartbrokenly and hopelessly, all to herself, under the gay big brim of her best hat”?

6. What does the essay reveal about the husband? And about the wife?

Enlarge your vocabulary

Vocabulary is a crucial factor in producing convincing descriptions of people. The following is a brainstorming map which could help you enlarge your vocabulary on the various aspects of personal descriptions.

1.Character and personal qualities

Personality:

warm, friendly, kind, nice, pleasant,

easy-going, generous, strong, sociable, ambitious, determined,

thrifty, frank, reliable, confident, emotional, rude,

cold, mean, aggressive,

sensitive, sensible,

broad-minded, inquiring,

even-tempered, arrogant

extravagant , nosy fair and square

Ability:

intelligent, bright, clever, smart, gifted, talented, flexible hard-working, average, simple, slow-witted, stupid, foolish, brainless, cunning, sly

Attitude:

optimistic, pessimistic, enthusiastic, eager,

motivated, passive, argumentative, trustworthy, sincere,

jealous, envious, cruel extroverted

introverted down-to-earth ill-mannered courteous

2.The following translation practice from Chinese into English could also help you acquire more words that are often used to describe people.

unfriendly unpleasant un-ambitious

unsociable unreliable inflexible

insensitive dishonest discourteous

impolite

3.The table below lists words that are often used to describe people’s appearances. Look at the words and select those that you can appropriately use when you describe someone in your class in a small-group activity.

General:

good-looking, beautiful, elegant, handsome,

unattractive untidy-looking

height and build:

tall, short, red-haired average, medium

height, slim, shiny, dyed, straight,

wavy, curly, stout, overweight

hair:

black, blond, brown red light brown, dark brown,

bald, tallish,

face: attractive, plain, ugly, round, square, long, oval, thin-faced, round-faced

eyes: big, small, round, black, brown, blue, grey, bright, shining

skin: fair, brown, dark, light, black, tanned, red, clear, smooth, rough

Write your own essay:

The descriptive essay is often creative, personal, or artistic. When choosing someone to write about, it should be a person to whom you have strong emotional ties (positive or negative). Close your eyes and visualize the person in detail. Your ultimate goal in this task is to evoke in the reader a sense of the person’s personality and character, not merely what he or she looks like. Read the following suggestions and select one that you find inspirational. Adapt or narrow your topic to serve your purpose, and write a descriptive essay.

1. A different kind of mother

2. My father, my best friend

3. How my cousin changed

4. An unusual but wonderful relative

5. My favorite teacher

6. My best roommate

7. A remarkable neighbor

8. My idol

9. My ideal husband / wife

10. The person who has influenced me most

II. Description of a place

Principles: While describing places, you should pay attention to the following rules:

● Know your purpose.

Tell your readers why the place is important to you and other people.

● Focus on a dominant idea.

The arrangement of the details depends on the subject and purpose.

● Know your audience.

The audience will determine what kind of writing style and approach you must adopt.

● Base your description on observation.

Sample A:

Descriptions of places can be found in travel brochures/booklets, tourist magazines, letters, etc. The style you use usually depends on the situation and the intended reader. For example, in a magazine, you could use a semi-formal style and a polite, respectful tone. You normally use present tenses to describe a place. You use past tenses to write about historical facts.

Read the passage below, pay attention to

the organization of the details in the three parts, and figure out the purpose of the writer. Who do you think he/she is writing for?

Peace Hotel

∙ 1.A Shanghai landmark for nearly a century, the Peace Hotel is known as one of the most famous hotels in China. The hotel is located in prime downtown Shanghai — situated at the doorstep to the Bund — Shanghai’s most famous landmark. The stretch of road outside the hotel is called Nanjing Road, which is the busiest pedestrian shopping mall in Shanghai.

2. The Hotel, formerly known as the Cathay(China) Hotel, was built in 1929 and is still symbolized as the most luxurious “No.1 Mansion in the Far East.” The Hotel is composed of two former hotels separated by a street. The North and the South Buildings were built in 1929 and 1906. After the founding of the People’s Republic of China in 1949, the North Building reopened in 1956, and the South Building in 1965, both operating under the name of the Peace Hotel. Since recent renovation(restore old building to good condition), all the rooms and restaurants are furnished with first-class facilities to provide guests with the best comfort and convenience. In the Peace Hotel, you may either sit for a fragrant coffee in the Jazz Bar , enjoying the Jazz music, popular in the 1930’s and 1940’s, or enjoy a cocktail and the excellent view of the Bund and river in the Shanghai Night Bar. After recent renovation, guests here will enjoy a full range of facilities that include a fully equipped gymnasium, beauty saloon, massage, and business center.

3. Truly a fusion of classic and modern, Eastern and Western, the Peace Hotel is an ideal place for work, stay, leisure, entertainment and shopping.

Sample B: In a subjective(opposite objective) description of a place, the writer can convey feelings. About the same place, different writers may have different feelings. In a writing course at Arizona亚利桑那州 State University, USA, the students are required to construct two descriptions of a place. Read the two sample student essays below, and you will see that one description conveys a favorable impression of the university library, while the other description conveys an unfavorable impression, making the library seem unpleasant.

Hayden Library海登图书馆

I am walking down a long and impressive flight of silky smooth concrete stairs. I come up to one of the many grand doors with a shiny brass handle that shows the age of the library by being slightly worn. I enter the majestic Hayden Library and find that it is quite large.

I feel as if I am in the Arizona Mills mall where everything is within my reach. The glistening colors of the gray tiles and white walls create an open and spacious feeling for the library. The dim yet sufficient lighting allows for the right amount of brightness for all the activities that are taking place. I notice the homelike cushy leather chairs and love seats with matching ottomans , which allows me to fall into a trance-like state , so I am focusing on what I am doing and not what surrounds me. There is an essence of being a studious student by being in the library. The subtle sounds of the people reading and studying to themselves, as if they are not in the library, but in their own imaginary worlds. I look around at all the people reading, studying, getting information from references, working on computers, and the many other activities that they are doing which shows me that I am in a place of great knowledge.

There is a certain intensity/brightness that I get from the library that is like going to a football stadium and watching the home team dominate the opposing team. All of the people in the library are extremely kind. The clerks at the information desks are anxious to help anyone who is looking for information. The people there are mostly students, and yet there are several individuals of all ages and backgrounds who, for various reasons, are simply using the library resources. These people are very considerate to each other, respecting each other’s privacy and respecting the purpose of the library as a tool for those who need it.

Write your own essay

A: Practice observing and writing a descriptive essay about a place.

Here are some suggestions: In your small groups, spend some time observing a place on campus. Each student is to take notes on a different aspect of the place. One student is to concentrate on the place itself — size, colors, atmosphere, sounds, etc. Another is to focus on the people in terms of dress and speech: what they’re wearing, what they’re using, what they’re carrying around, what they’re saying, etc. The third student should focus on actions: what the people are doing, how they’re acting, how they’re relating to one another, etc. Share your notes in the group. Each student is to first write a descriptive essay in a positive light and then use the same facts and details to describe the place from a negative perspective/idea. Exchange the drafts with another group and read their essays, then give comments and make revision.

B: The following topics are suggested for you to practice writing descriptive essays of places. When you write the essay, you should bear the question in mind: Why should my reader care about the place?

1. My hometown

2. My bedroom / dorm

3. One of our college canteens

4. One of our college classrooms

5. A gym

6. My favorite clothing store

7. A tea house

8. A local grocery store

9. A favorite place in childhood

10. A city I have visited

III. Description of feelings

Principles:

The focus of this unit is on the description of feelings. In writing essays to describe your feelings, you should note the following principles:

● As with any other type of descriptive writing, you write with a purpose —

you write to share your happiness or sorrow with someone;

you write about an emotion or a character trait which is very strong in you, e.g., a quick temper, intense jealousy, a tendency to get frustrated, cry easily, or laugh at embarrassing moments.

● While you are writing a descriptive essay, you should know that it is always more powerful to let facts speak for themselves. You should use illustrations and examples instead of generalizations with sentimental language to make your feelings clear.

● You should build up the vocabulary needed to describe your feelings.

Sample A :Here is an essay written by a college freshman about the first three months of college. Read it and decide for whom this essay is most likely written. It is also suggested that you pay attention to the writer’s description of the different feelings aroused in her when she was in the new college situation.

College: The First Three Months

by Kathleen Spink

1. As I followed my parents up to college on move-in day, I really thought I was prepared to handle the whole new life. I knew it was just two short hours away. Even as they helped me move all of my stuff into my small brick room, I felt responsible and as though I was ready to say goodbye. All of that changed when they left my room to return home and I realized I wasn’t going with them. I cried, which surprised me, because I didn’t think I would be sad to see them go; however, a wave of panic overtook me and I wish I had known at the time that this turmoil was normal.

2. After three months, I have come to the conclusion that there is no way to prepare yourself for the change that college brings. Once left all alone in your own new room, first you are overtaken with emptiness and fear. This eventually changes into a new found sense of freedom, then to a sense of responsibility. After given a chance to adjust to this total different life, you’re bound to discover things about yourself that you never knew existed and come to terms with this new life you will eventually learn to love.

3. Right after my parents left, I became extremely upset. To this day I don’t really know why, but as I sat in my room too upset to wander around the halls and make friends, I thought I was the only one in this position. So I decided that college was not the place for me. The added embarrassment that I thought I was the only freshman who was this upset did not ease my pain. Eventually, I came to my senses and realized that if I made some friends this whole experience might be a lot easier. So I went down the hall and knocked on the door of a friendly girl I had met the day before. She took a second to get to the door, but when she did, it was obvious she was just as upset as I was. So we cried together about all of our insecurities about our new lives. I know any high school senior that is reading this will think to themselves “That’s not gonna happen to me ... I’m ready to move out,” but that’s what I thought too. It hits you like a ton of bricks and it’s something you really can’t prepare for.

4. This bad feeling doesn’t just go away quick, either. It takes a little while to get comfortable and stop thinking seriously about dropping out. I thought I had picked the wrong college, the wrong major, the wrong way of life. It probably took me about two to three weeks after being here to finally realize that I liked it. To all you high school seniors out there, one piece of advice I can give you is to wait it out and don’t expect to make your best friends the first few days of being here. My best friend, Lisa, and I didn’t hang out until the third week of being here, but once I found her, it made my whole experience a lot easier. The good thing about college is that there’s someone for everyone. It doesn’t matter what you’re into, there’s always going to be at least one other person who’s into the same thing.

5. While I began to transition from hating my life here to loving it, I was overcome with a huge sense of freedom. I wasn’t under my parents’ rule anymore and I wanted to go wild. This is what the typical college student does; however, I was extremely stupid about it. The first weekend I was here, my boyfriend and two of our friends came up to visit. I didn’t care about anything in the world except for having those familiar faces there with me. I knew my parents weren’t there to tell me when to be home or what I could or couldn’t do, so I went crazy. I got in trouble when they were there for having alcohol in my room. I didn’t really think it would be a big deal, until I went to my meeting and was told that my housing license had been revoked but held in abeyance. Basically, I was in a lot of trouble but I didn’t really worry about it. I went on with my crazy college life and the third weekend I was here, I proceeded to drink with Lisa at a frat party. However, this wild sense of freedom was quickly ripped away when I found a note on my door a few mornings later saying I had been written up again. I panicked and didn’t know what to do, and apparently there was really nothing I could do since I tried everything but still found myself getting kicked out of the dorms after three weeks of being here. I never thought that when I sadly said goodbye to my parents that first weekend that the next time they would be up to visit, would be to help me move all of my stuff back out of my room in disappointment. I know now that it is normal to feel a sense of freedom when you move out, but you have to use responsibility with it in order to stay out of trouble.

6. My sense of responsibility kicked in the second I found that note on my door. I knew I had to get my act together, and quick. I actually stayed home for two weekends in a row and did absolutely nothing. I worked on homework and tried to focus on the important thing: school. But then I realized that although school was the reason I was here, it wasn’t the most important thing in my life. I wanted to be happy. That was all that really mattered in the long run. So I went on with my life while trying to take care of all of my hearings and meetings and appeals with the judicial system. I moved out and into my new apartment, which I absolutely love. Instead of dwelling on the obvious fact that I had failed horribly, I tried to concentrate on the positive aspects of having my new place. I steered clear and got my act together and used my previous experience as an example for how I didn’t want to turn out.

7.To this point, I came to terms with what had happened and knew I had to move on. I forgot about it all and once I had overcome the stress of moving out and disappointing my parents, I looked around and realized I really loved it here. I have found new people to hang out with and I’m in the process of dating, something that I wasn’t expecting when I arrived. I always thought my happiness was partly at home, with my family, friends, and ex-boyfriend. But now I know that my happiness is here, at Cal Poly, along with the rest of my life and my new friends and new possible boys to learn to like. I went from always thinking of myself as a failure to now knowing that I can succeed and make life happen for myself instead of always relying on others help me. And sometimes I think back to high school, when everything was just so easy. I thought the transition to college would be a breeze, and that once I was here my life would just be parties and fun. Although that is still part of the reason I love it here so much, I wish I could let everyone back in high school know that it’s not that easy. It takes a lot of getting used to, but in the end it’s the best experience of your life. There’s really nothing that can prepare you for going off to college, so just know that once you’re here and crying all alone in your dorm room, you’re really not alone. We all know how you feel.

Sample B: To write vividly about memories can not only help you understand yourself but also help others learn. Read the essay below and note how the writer recalls the sweet love she felt in her teenage years.

Love Is Sweet

by Tiffany Storm

As a sixteen-year-old full of unanswered questions, I sought the answer to love with an undying determination. I wanted to be part of it! I wanted to master it! But most of all, I just wanted to experience it.

Ben and I had been friends for as long as I could remember, from piggyback rides and colorful stories from a teacher in the second grade to an interest in poetry in the eighth grade. We saw life through the same eyes and questioned each other about it frequently.

In the eleventh grade, something had changed between Ben and me that I didn’t understand. I received no more stuck-out tongues, but now wholehearted smiles. Less tugs and teases and more sideways glances and phone calls. I went from feeling small to suddenly feeling so important. Was this love?

Ben and I began seeing each other often, and, before long, I felt like a permanent fixture in his family. I didn’t understand this time together or why things always seemed to work when we were together, but I enjoyed it. After one particular weekend of seeing each other Friday night, all day Saturday and Sunday afternoon, I looked at my friend and asked shyly, “Don’t you ever get sick of me?”

Hanging in the air, my worst fear was now out in the open. A thousand “What ifs” ran screaming through my mind. I truly could not imagine how a person could enjoy my company as much as I enjoyed his.

“Do you ever get sick of the sunshine?” Ben answered sincerely.

Ben and I continued to spend much time together that year. The song “You Are My Sunshine” suddenly meant more to us than words could explain. The lyrics spelled out the true meaning of life to Ben and me: to love and be loved in return.

Ben and I have since parted ways, but I learned so much from him. Never again will I feel small and insignificant. We each carry our own little “sunshine,” and it is our job to share it.

Sample C: To write effective descriptive essays of feelings, you could use facts to convey your feelings. Read the essay below and find out what facts the writer uses to describe her love for her hometown Moncton in a fresh way.

Moncton, Back Where I Belong

by Marina McCarron, freelance writer and editor

I never thought I would settle in my hometown. Sure Moncton, N.B., is nice, but from a young age I dreamed of living in a place where everyone I met did not know my family. I craved anonymity, a mass-transit system and a big bookstore.

I moved to Ottawa to go to college, spent five years after that in Vancouver, then headed for Toronto.

I stayed three years in a city where no one knew my family. After three years of living in a studio apartment, with an hour-long commute in a subway where no one spoke to anyone, I longed for the East Coast. One day, while eating French fries with my sister, who was in town on business, I said I was moving home. “Just for the summer,” I said. She didn’t believe me. I was the one who always wanted to be someplace, anyplace, else.

A month later I moved home. That was three years ago. I’m still here.

I live in the Victoria Park area, the oldest part of town, with its large, sprawling homes from Moncton’s heyday with the CN shops. It’s an area that has seen a lot of change. When the workshops closed in 1988, the area lost some of its luster. Now young families are restoring the homes. There’s a large sky-blue house near me that has a dominant front porch I love. At the end of my street is a yellow house with a sun porch that I imagine is the perfect place to just be. Each day when I walk Jake, my dog, I like to look at the homes set regally around Victoria Park.

But it is the house where I live that I like the best. It has built-in bookshelves, a fireplace, a third-floor skylight and a back patio with lawn chairs. A visiting friend told me it was “the perfect spot to be content.” And I, to my own amazement, am very much just that.

When I was out walking in the park one night, a man stopped me to ask about my father. “A good man, your father” — he wasn’t telling me anything I did not already know, but I was thrilled nonetheless to hear it. In a bigger city I might have been startled by such an encounter, but as the man approached, I took one look at his socks, sandals and smile and figured he knew my family somehow.

I find lots of things nice about my hometown now. I like the ten-minute commute to any place in Moncton. I like that the local radio stations don’t have traffic reports. I like the ten-minute walk to the farmers’ market each Saturday, where I buy a seafood quiche as a treat.

Each week I stop at Reid’s Newsstand & Café on Main Street and pick up a magazine and a paper. They carry papers from all over the world, and I am systematically working my way through them. In the summer I get a cold drink, and in the fall and winter I get a coffee. I know it is going to be a good day if their feature flavor is hazelnut.

It took me a while to appreciate it, but in the end, there’s no place like home. And that is exactly how it feels.

Write your own essay

1. Recall your “firsts” — first day / night away from home, first travel by train / plane, first visit to the city / countryside etc. Write an essay to describe how you felt on one of these occasions.

2. Write a letter to an imaginary friend telling about a time you really felt good about something. Describe the feeling as fully as possible. Do the same for a time you really felt bad about something.

3. Describe a time you had a hard time coping with the way you felt about something. What made it difficult? What did you do about it? Is there something you could have done that would have made it easier?

4. Sometimes in our lives, we would feel like an outsider. Write about an incident when you felt alienated from your family, peers, or social group. You may focus on key scenes that show what happened, why it was important, and how it affects you now.

5. Go through old photographs and select one person — your grandmother or grandfather. You could write an essay using specific memories of scenes that show how you feel about this person.

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